And dammit someone should write one. I quit. I am so tired of trying to figure out the correct way to handle the "new" situation of the "new" growth of a male or female small person that I'm certain to find myself, shortly, standing in the center of the room with all three of them around me having a full blown turrets moment in all my explicative glory.
I don't know what to do on a regular basis and it's exhausting. The only redeeming piece to all of this is apparently neither does anyone else or a damn manual would exist. I mean a REAL manual...as if factual operating instructions could make sense for every child. For example:
"If the child is suddenly moody and acting like an ass to his/her siblings, simply take out the yellow wire and place into the white input valve." pg. 64
or
"If child becomes despondent with random outbursts of anger, simply unplug main power source and lay child down for 8-10 hrs." pg. 57
or
"If child cannot stop repeating your name while you are having a phone conversation with uptight, arrogant surgeon, while picking nose and eating boogers, a simple re-boot is needed." pg. 34
or
"If child refuses to go to bathroom before bed, simply unscrew the plug and drain out all water before bedtime to prevent anger at 3am when the sheets are wet." pg. 16
"For diarrhea, see pg. 17"
But, as that is a reality for no one, we have books on alcohol abuse and AA mtgs.
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