Days of the week...

I wanted to let you know, that I went and got the kids a few "essentials" for back to school.  Namely, underwear and socks.  Found a bunch of really cute and affordable pairs for both the boys and our daughter. I got her an entire set of "days of the week" socks. Each cute, colorful sock says Monday, or Tuesday, or ...you get the picture.  I felt really good about this until 15 minutes after we got home when my brain turned back on and I realized I had just set the stage for a school morning nightmare.

"MOM!!!!! Where are my TUESDAY socks?"

"Dunno. Probably in the wash. Wear a different pair."

"BUT TODAY IS TUESDAY!!!

Sarcastically, I will want to yell up, "You're goddamn right it is. But in our hearts it feels like Saturday. But on the f'n Saturday socks."

Instead, it will just be the image of a broken woman, me, hitting her head against the wall, saying "Stupid, stupid, stupid."  Cuz, I did this. All by myself.

The walls have ears

And by that, I mean literally, the walls. That is the only explanation I can come up with for what has become our new normal. Upon declaring that "This house no longer suits our family," the house has slowly begun to implode. On the glass have empty side, it appears to be giving us the finger. On the half full side, however, it is ensuring that the new owners will have lots of brand new, better than ever---certainly better than we ever treated ourselves---stuff. And you can't really put a price on that kind "do good" feeling. But if you could, it would definitely be in the thousands.
It started with the fence...and then it was the wiring for ceiling fixtures in various rooms, then the washing machine...and this morning our freezer crapped out.  As I was reading to the kids tonight, a strong "lighter fluid" aroma came billowing down the hallway.

Obviously, not one for the story, the house decided to light itself on fire.

Client luncheon

In an effort to preserve sanity, I decided to pretend that lunch with our 5 yr old was a business lunch. (Yea, I recognize the irony in the sanity preservation goal). I have to say though, the lunch went surprisingly well. He explained that he is part monkey because he loves bananas and climbing on things and that his sister is part cat, because she has claws and hisses, his older brother is part star wars, his father is part gorllia because he is strong, and I (me, your wife) am "part human and part 'knows everything in the world.'"
In closing, perhaps I should go back to work because clearly I am closing deals left and right. When's the last time your client told you that you are part "knows everything in the world."

Stop the Ride. I Want to Get Off.

Somewhere between arriving in Illinois on our trip, driving back to CO, and then the first day of school...I decided I was done. Game changer...change of course....no idea which way to go...just get me off the ride. My desire for a home with individual kids rooms, more than one bathroom between the five of us (only accessible by entering our bedroom), a finished basement, a garage, and a neighbor without a massive weed problem (drugs on the left, actual overgrown plants on the right) had come to a head.  I was ready to offer up our house to anyone walking by with a checkbook. Time for change. Grab your floatation device and jump.

But...I married you. And so we do not jump...we responsibly map out our year of household updates, improvements, and savings so as to get the best value for our home and ideally move at the most convenient time at the end of the school year.

And thus, we begin pouring money into our home so it can look nicer for complete strangers than it ever did for us, and then, brilliant people that we are, we will choose a beautiful large house that has "potential" for those with "vision" which is code for "no walls."

So...we started on the fence.  The fence, which we are now on our third weekend...of said fence, is up.  It had ivy and roses preserved.  Said ivy and roses were accidently chopped down by cute, helpful, five year old. Other part of fence must now be rebuilt as well. It's no longer aesthetically nice down our side of the house...but it's sturdy.

FYI...in the midst of "fence"........

School has started for 2 out of 3 children. 4th grade seems to be a slice for our eldest after week one. He is happy, excited and will soon, God help us all, be practicing the saxophone. 2nd grade is already filled with overdramatic little girls who have unkind things to say and have been taught to preface aforementioned unkind things, with "Not to offend you, but..."  It would be so much funnier if the girls just came out and said, "I'm going to offend you now."  I think that's what I'll tell our daughter to say instead.  Maybe she can turn 2nd grade into one giant "roast."

We have also experienced torrential floods, which have rocked the worlds of many. We have been fortunate to not be in a risky area----Add one point to the house "Flood Free!"

I have been commissioned by our daughter to create a stuffed animal for her---per her design.  She has been micro-managing the crap out of me, which albeit irritating, is probably the only way the thing got finished within the week.

Both our dog, and Sprinkles the Unicorn, have had birthday celebrations.  Max is 10, Sprinkles is 1 month. Each year, she ages a month in unicorn years...we should by stock in whipped cream.

Our five year old would like to have a farm. He is doing his dammedest to create one in our backyard. We started with very ambitious window boxes and are crossing our fingers for a spring harvest, before someone else lives here.  I told him that we could make a bigger "farm" and grow more vegetables at our new house---it will be part of our "vision."

Our kitchen light has a short. Not sure how that happened, but it is often that I am cooking by candlelight, if I have not prepared dinner by 5:30pm.  It was really romantic when our dining room light also had no connection and we would walk with the candelabra from the kitchen to the table in a procession not unlike "Phantom of the Opera."

I have to tell myself we are practicing for our house of "vision."

Wanted to let you know that the 4th and 2nd grader seem to be in, what I would call an "Alpha War." This is especially heated when it is between the two of them, and just plain irritating when they try to pull that shit with me.  They each believe that they know best, and/or how things are "going to go down." This is not flying with me. Because, as everyone in this family knows, I am Alpha. I have more crazy than any of you. And my crazy is earned.

Wanted to let you know that I am really trying to channel my "outer adult" and embrace the simultaneous renovating and purging required for our next responsible step. But, be forewarned, my inner child is refusing to step away from the ledge, and won't take off her floatation device.  Like I said, "...more crazy than any of you."