Freezer Genius

So our freezer, crapped out the other day.  Other day...being about 10 days ago...I called the manufacturer. The following is the series of events that have taken place in an effort to restore "freeze" in the freezer. True story.

"Hi, our freezer has stopped "freezing" and says 43 degrees on the screen."

"Okay. What you need to do is hit the power freeze button, and the freezer temperature. It should say -4."

"Okay."

"Have you done that?"

"Yup. I pushed the button. It said, -4 for 2 seconds and is now back to 47 degrees."

"Okay. What I am going to do is enter your information into our system. Give the freezer some time to reset and see if it fixes itself. If not, call us back."

"Okay. Thank you."

Several hours passed and our freezer now said 58 degrees. Self-fix outlook poor.

So I called back. This time I got a very kind man from India.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I wanted to see about scheduling repair for our freezer."

"Oh-kay. Have you called us before?"

"Yes."

"Oh-kay. Let me see here."

"Oh yes. I see that you have called us before."

"Yes."

"Yes. I am going to ask you to please follow the following steps."

"Okay."

"I need you to turn the temperature way down on your refrigerator and freezer for a while and call us back."

"What?!"

"Are you not me understanding?"

"No, I understand you, I'm just not sure why I need to damage my remaining food that is in the fridge by freezing it. My refrigerator is fine. My freezer keeps getting warmer."

"Mam, I am just trying to do what it says in the manual, before I put in a service ticket in case it fixes itself."

"I appreciate that.  I think I need a service ticket, please.  It's not fixing itself."

"Oh-kay. What I am going to do is put in a request for service. A technician will call you in 4 days and ask if you still want service.  If you do, he will tell you when he can come out to fix it."

"4 days?"  I then felt a twinge of "snobby USA entitlement." As if to say, "Oh...My...Gaaawd. I cannot...live for 4 days without a freezer."

"Yes, Mam."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

"Yup. Thanks."  And I hung up.

5 days later...there is a message on my vmail from an appliance technician.
I call the number.  Number no good.  I listen to the message again.  Number no good.  In a "Do do dooo..the number you have reached is not in service, please try again..." kind of no good way.

So I google the name of the company.  It turns out the company is based in Washington state.  Had I only known to attach the 509 area code, it would have been no problem at all. Silly me.

I call the manufacturer back.  I got the same kind gentleman from India.

After reacquainting ourselves, I explain that the technician who called me was based in Washington.

"So, he cannot come to your house."

"No. Because I live in Colorado."

"And that is too far?"

"It is a (holding all expletives inside) plane ride."

"Oh. Well, let me see. Where do you live?"

"In Colorado." I start pouring some wine. It's 3pm.

"So...let me see. I am sorry for the confusion. I have the wrong address for you."

"Hmmm," I say while sipping.

"So, do you still need a technician?"

"Yes," I said, "The freezer did not fix itself." I'm catching on.

"Okay. This is a number for a local company in Colorado Springs, they will contact you shortly."

"Thank You."

"Sorry for the confusion."

"No problem. Bye."

2 hours later...right before closing...

"Hi, this is Lisa from Shox Appliance and Engineering. Do you need to schedule a repair?"

"Yes."

"Okay...well we are pretty backed up...how about the 9th?"

"Sure."

"Do you want me to schedule it, or do you want to wait and see if it fixes itself?"

In my head...."Seriously."

What I say, "Yes, please put me down. And if it miraculously fixes itself, I'll cancel."

"Okay. We have you down for Monday the 9th."

"Thank you. Bye."

From the other room...

"Mom, can we—"

"No."

"But.."

"Just, No."