Once upon a time there was a semi-stylish 26yr old who worked in the city among skyscrapers and subways. She drank lattes, smoked Marlboro Lights and owned a key fob to her office. After socializing/working with adults all day she would often meet up with friends and/or colleagues for several drinks at a trendy downtown bar. Male friends would often buy drinks for her--on their own accord. One day, she couldn't help noticing how cute and fit one of her coworkers was, and wondered whether she could seduce him.
She could. And she did.
She was so amazing, that he decided to stick around and sealed the deal with the conception of 3 children. The children were so magical and cute that the once semi-stylish woman traded in her knee high boots and mini skirts for jeans larger than she had ever worn, old t-shirts/ cozy worn sweaters and comfy socks. She apparently lost her hairbrush in the deal, but replaced that with a coffee pot. Giving up the smokes for everyone's sake, she began collecting full wine bottles--a never ending project.
As the kids multiplied and grew older, her skin began to stretch down towards its home, "Mother Earth" and she found new and creative ways to lift it up or tuck it deep down in her newly formed waistline. Her work day started at different times each day---sometimes 4am, sometimes 2am, but most days 5:30-6:30.
As she gleefully falls down the stairs in a half sleep she blindly smiles as she slaps PB and J on one sandwich and nothing with anything nut-related on the other two sandwiches.
As the eggs start to dry out on the stove she lovingly shouts upstairs (going against everything she has told her children not to do) "COME EAT BEFORE IT GETS COLD!!!!"
Shouting wakes her up and she realizes that she is standing in the kitchen working with knives and an open flame. Averting disaster, she puts all hazzards down and makes a cup of coffee.
She can hear the songs of praise coming from the other room, "Eggs?! I didn't want eggs!" And as the little angels eat, she runs (yes runs because now she only has 3 mins to shower) skipping 2 stairs at a time, to get ready. She turns on the shower and glances at her phone. Determined to make some forward progress she plays Candy Crush, alone in the steamy bathroom, on the toilet.
It is not long before the angels are banging on the door to brush their teeth. Shower is turned off, and she emerges miraculously dry and in the same clothes.
Setting a personal goal to race the children's teeth brushing with the ability to get dressed and be at the door, car keys in hand, she frantically scours the room for something that fits.
As everybody gathers at the finish line, heading out the door to embrace another amazing day, she hears one of the angels say, "I hate school."
And knows, looking around the house at the dishes, dust and laundry awaiting her return, its gonna be a great day.
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