Wow. So December is done. Clearly a blur of crafts and Elves (with a capital E) and chocolate covered everything. On to 2014.
We've gone "even"--with 6, 8, and 10 heading into 2014.
This first week back at school has been a jolt back to reality and the next growing year of change.
Our 8 yr old came home the other day and announced that a child at school called her a "rubber penis."
"What?!?!" I said. "What do you mean?"
"He said I was a rubber penis."
Still looking totally perplexed I said, "Did he just walk up to you, slug you on the shoulder and say 'Hey rubber penis?' I, mean...huh?"
"No. He had a made up word for it, but then he told me what it was."
My face still totally scrunched as if looking at a science exam for a class I had never attended.
"He called it a 'gilbo' or 'gilgo'....I dunno...something like that."
"A DILDO!?!?" I inquired in horror and disbelief.
"Yea. A dildo."
"First of all nice vocab...and secondly did the teacher hear him!?"
"Yea. She talked to him for a little bit."
"What's a dildo?" asked our 6 and 10 year old entering the room.
I wanted to say "this kid is," but, my inner child sat down in the back of the 'office' and I replied, "It's a rubber penis."
"Oh....why?" They inquired. What's it for?"
Again, the inner child writhing to break free, longing to say----but I pushed her down and instead said, "It's just silliness. And totally inappropriate for kids your age to talk about. Let's go eat dinner."
After everyone had eaten, fortunately, our dog's butt exploded. Poor little pooch looked terrified and confused and, for the first time in his life, feeble. It was disgusting. It happened four times, and then we sought medical treatment. Seems okay now, but it sort of wrapped up this next year in a pretty little package...Geriatric dogs, and dildos. To 2014! Game on.
